Introducing Vantruck

Monday, December 5th, 2016 @ 3:28 | vantruck

Hello everyone, this is Vantruck.

HI VANTRUCK!

What is Vantruck?

Vantruck is a van.

And a truck.

At the same time.

WHY DOES IT EXIST?

It’s like Catdog; an instantiation of fabled admixtures of two animals.

 

Or perhaps, a McGangBang of two colliding titanic forces of 1980s excess and gluttony.

Specifically, it is half of a Ford E350 conversion van body mounted on a lengthened Ford F-350 duallie chassis. It is, therefore, literally half van and half truck, transcending traditional vehicle role boundaries.

Wait, did you actually BUY THIS?

Maybe.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Nothing, but perhaps everything, depending on your frame of reference and soundness of mind. All things are relative, you see.

Does it… work?

The powertrain is in good repair, the engine pulls well, the frame and underbody are fairly clean, but some of the electrical accessories do not work, including somewhat important things like turn signals.

Though I am told you don’t need those in Boston, the Massachusetts Vehicle Check program at least wants to see that There Was an Attempt.

It also had a tire blowout event in a past life which left these holes in the fiberglass fenders. They, too, will be repaired.

 

The interior also needs a good detail. Untold numbers of old flubby white people have likely committed unspeakable acts on this convertible rear bench seat and futon.

I would like to erase all potential history of this.

What are you going to do with it?!

Use it as a van and a truck, simultaneously, like GOD INTENDED.

Cosmetically clean it up and low-effort restore it, including pre-emptive rustproofing and electrical system detangling.

That sounds boring.

Image: InsideEVs via Jason Hughes

Eventually, reverse-engineer and install a Tesla PxxD powertrain. I have a bone to pick with how Tesla handles indepedent service and repair, and think it sets a very bad precedent for the automotive industry. Therefore, one of my future projects is to revive a trashed/crashed Tesla vehicle (whether wholly or in pieces) with minimal support and authorization from Tesla – ideally none – and open source the process & create solutions for adapting their parts to nefarious uses. I liken it to the DIY muscle car engine swap of the 21st century; the ideas and goals are the same, the tools and skills are different. I’ve been rage-reading this thread too much recently, and one of the things that spurred this desire was following the progress of Jason Hughes.

ARE YOU INSANE?

Maaaaaybe.

Why can’t you just be normal and buy a used Nissan Leaf?

That would be giving up.

How do I back your Kickstarter?

This project has no definite timeline. Definitely post-#season3, possibly beyond that, so I do not have a fundraising source for it planned.  Just keep buying Ragebridges. Or hire e0designs for stuff.

Can I buy the Ford 460 V8 to make a racecar?

I will happily trade a running 75K original-mile 1986 Ford 460 V8, all its installed accessories, C6 automatic transmission, and dual-tank fuel system for one very sad Tesla Model S PxxD.

What will happen to Mikuvan? ):

Mikuvan remains in active service. There are no plans to mothball or decommission it. Vantruck is larger than most Cambridge city blocks, so there is no way I am able to casually use it anyhoo. Also, 10 miles per gallon.

 

 

 

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    6 Responses to “Introducing Vantruck”

    1. FrankTheCat Says:

      More like 10 SMILES per gallon, amirite?

    2. Max Says:

      Nonsense, all this is wholly Chuck-like and perfectly normal in every way. The voices in my head told me so it must be true. By all means, do carry on…!

    3. Karl Says:

      But can you fit a 4′x8′ sheet of plywood in the bed?

      If so, BEST VEHICLE EVER

    4. Zac Says:

      Patreon it? I’d probably support if it promises more Chuck shenanigans

    5. the chuxxor Says:

      4x8s fit flat between the fenders on the inside. Mikuvan THEORETICALLY fits in the bed between sides with 2 inches to spare, widthwise – this has not been experimentally verified.

      The rear axle is also capable of handling it in its entirety, so there’s some terrifying vans-on-vans-ON-VANS prospects.

    6. Karl Says:

      Yesssssssssss.